02 Apr 7 SECRETS TO ENJOYING A MOVE FROM THE FAMILY HOME: PART 2
Yes, you read that right. A move from the family home can be more enjoyable. Rightsizing doesn’t have to be a traumatic experience for the Empty Nester. Here are some great pointers for Rightsizing, moving, settling and styling up your life.
For The ‘Rock’ or Your Team
Congratulations on taking this role. Your support and guidance is critical to the success on this transition. Empty Nesters who are experiencing the transition to a new living arrangement need our love and guidance. This is all new to them and they may feel overwhelmed or upset at times. You are their confidante, the person they trust to help them make all the right decisions. There comes a time when the decision to move or relocate must be made for their safety and well-being. This is difficult, but these tips will help you make the most of it for them.
Secret #1: Perception Is Reality
Acknowledge your loved one’s feelings of loss or grief for their home. Often having to relocate to a new home brings to light many of their own feelings of life and death. The feelings your loved one is feeling right now are of the utmost importance. Don’t oversell the place where they are going to live. Be real; don’t discuss the new place as if it’s a brand new fairy-tale castle or as if it is terrible and shocking. It’s great to be positive. It’s recommended that you are positive, but there is no reason not to be straight with your loved one about what’s really happening. Keep them informed and discuss the details of their new home, often.
Secret #2: Set the Ground Rules
Listen to concerns. There may be several parts of this transition you do not understand or you think needs to happen. You need to have your ears open wide and make sure you are truly listening to all concerns.
Secret #3: Allow Someone To Help
Don’t take over the entire process unless you’re asked to do so. Be sensitive to others and remember this transition is hard for all of those involved. Allowing your Empty Nester to ‘drive’, if they are ready for it, is the best way you can help the transition it is important to respect the adult, it is not a role reversal. No one is a ‘child’ in this scenario, it is all about adults respecting adults.
Secret #4: Sell / Rent / Build A Granny Flat When the Time Is Right
Don’t chat about selling or renting the home immediately. There are treasured, special, happy and sad memories and possessions in the home. They took time to collect and it will take time to move and let go. Ensure your Empty Nester invests in some unbiased seriously good financial advice. The right timing and great management of the financial plan is essential. But make sure you are not rushing, as it may cause a sense of concern for them.
Secret #5: Be Positive. It’s A New Chapter
You and your Empty Nester can do this! Your Empty Nester has been through a huge amount of events in their life and are still here to tell the story! Assure them they must believe in themselves and know that they CAN do this; it is not unachievable. Your Empty Nester needs to know that you truly believe in them too.
Secret #6: The Cycle Of Change
Imagine your life being turned upside down. When faced with difficult times, it can be hard to imagine the positive side of what’s happening. Our perspective is often different from others’. As we have mentioned a person’s perspective is his or her own reality and it can’t be felt by anyone else. We know we cannot step into our Empty Nesters shoes, but we do know we can make sure they are well taken care of and in good hands. As a friend or family member of an Empty Nester moving to a new home, you need to be aware of all the stages they may go through as they transition. It is important to be aware of this ‘cycle of change’, understand the impact you are having, as well as the situation for the Empty Nester. Ask yourself, are you providing positive help towards the situation?
Secret #7: It’s A Team Effort. Your Person Of Trust
Connect with them. Visit often and know that it matters if you are around. Ask for permission to be there and don’t turn a blind eye to what’s happening. Be involved every step of the way. The senior in your life needs you. Call in on them and make family/friends events often, and not only on holidays and birthdays! Presence is what they need, not presents! Be there for them. Try to be involved in the personalisation of their new home. Make sure special belongings are being treated with the care and respect they deserve and talk through these items with your senior. Their new home should become as cosy and as loved as the one from which they just came from.
There are several things that may worry your loved one when transitioning to a new home. Here are a few of the common ones I’ve heard along with some advice to offer comfort.